Babble

I've Moved!

2009-02-23T22:32:00.000-08:00

I have a new blog-home at WordPress.com! Come check it out: http://quarterlifeentropy.wordpress.com See you there!

Four Agreements

2009-02-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

I saw a copy of the following "life insights" on a friend's fridge and I just love these rules and will definitely be reading the book. These are from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

1. Be impeccable with your word (speak with integrity, say only what you mean)
2. Don't take anything personally (nothing others do is because of you)

3. Don't make assumptions (find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want)

4. Always do your best (and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret)

In this ever-uncertain world, all we can do is our best. If we truly practice all four of these agreements, happiness is inevitable. From this day forward, I shall practice each of these mantras. I choose happiness.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before

2009-02-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

To Whom It May Concern:

You know who you are. Thank you for your role in my life, you've been pivotal in my growth as an individual as well as a woman. It's time for you to go now. I wish you all the best in life, and I truly want you all to be happy in whatever you do and wherever you end up. Please do right by me and move right along, because you know I won't be able to tell you myself. Thank you for understanding.

Borrowed from my good friend John Legend:

"And I hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy,
I still can't believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best, I guess.
'Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt"

Whether "somebody new" is literal or figurative, make "somebody new" more of a priority than you made me.

For those that were scared of opening up - quit being a chickenshit. It's unattractive.

For those who couldn't tell me they cared about me out of fear of having to commit- grow an F-ing backbone. You knew I would find out. You'll have to stop running from it eventually. You're not getting any younger. You're gonna have to grow up someday. Guess who won't be there when that day arrives?

For those that hurt my feelings, but didn't care - I hope you get a conscience.

For those that hurt my feelings and felt bad about it - shame on you for not getting it right after the first time and shame on me for letting it continue.

You know I would like to tell you to go F yourself, but I just don't have it in me. So please. I beg you. Let me be me. Let me be happy.

Love,

Katie

Dear Self,

Don't look back.

Love,

Me.

Who Doesn't Love Self-Promotion?

2009-02-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

Call me a follower, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. 25 random things about me:

1. I love peanut butter, pickles, cookie dough and strange food combinations that only pregnant women would appreciate. And I've never been pregnant.

2. Number 2 is actually borrowed from Janelle's list because I couldn't say it any better myself, and I swear she must have been talking about me when she wrote it. "I am not a morning person. I am also not a night person. My prime time is from about 11am to 4 pm; however, once I start getting hungry I get cranky, so forget about from 11:30 to 12:30 or so also, and then I always get the 2 O’clock fade, so I am useless for about 30 minutes around then. Basically I have about one hour of maximum productivity and pleasantness a day."

3. I love kids. I love teaching them, I love being around them, I love learning from them. I have a special place in my heart for children's issues and education...For this reason, I will probably be a lifelong Democrat. (And I don't even mind working hard, nor do I want your handouts! Go fig!)

4. Nobody in this world can make me laugh like Jonathan can. There's also nobody in this world that has the capacity to make me feel needed and loved like he can. No one.

5. I have become obsessed with all things social media - Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, even Myspace. I've learned to use it to enhance my life rather than get caught up in it and stop actually LIVING life.

6. I want to write a book someday. I don't know when, what it will be about or even whether it will be fiction or nonfiction, I just know that I want to write it.

6b. Run-on sentences, lack of basic grammar skills, and repetitive misspellings make me want to scream.

7. I love sports and wish I had Jillian Barberie's job. I secretly wish I were a female sportscaster. I'm a huge Cubs & Diamondbacks fan - I love baseball. Just like my Grandpa, I'm always torn when the Cubbies come to town. I'm also a Suns fan, but my Mom happens to be the biggest Suns fan I know. I also root for the Cardinals, although that hasn't been cool to do until this year.

8. One of my favorite places in the world is any ballpark. I used to work at BOB and I got chills every time I walked in the door. I love the smell, the sounds, the lights, the grass, the dirt, the people - all of it. I love it when it's loud and filled with mobs of people as much as when it's quiet and there's not a soul in sight.

9. Spring is my favorite season - spring training, the beautiful weather, the new spring flowers and the seemingly fresh sun. Makes my heart happy.

10. 90210, One Tree Hill, Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, Felicity, and Gilmore Girls have all been favorites of mine. They all fall under the "If I'm watching _______, don't talk to me or you'll get your ass handed to you" category.

11. Venti Quad Nonfat Cinnamon Dolce Lattes, No whip and Venti Iced Unsweetened Green Teas are my Starbucks staples. The coffee is an indulgence and not as frequent a treat as I'm sure I'd like to allow, but the green tea has become a regular since I stopped drinking soda. I often brew it at home to save money. (Side note: I've also cheated on the soda thing a few times this month, and that really disappoints me.)

12. I love traveling, but don't get to as often as I'd like. I'm currently planning a getaway with Melissa in the next year.

13. I drove all the way to LA after work one day to spend the night and get my passport the next morning. My birthday was wrong on the first passport they sent me. It ended up being quite the adventure and growth experience. After much hotel and passport related trauma, I was able to enjoy an afternoon in Beverly Hills, walked up and down Rodeo, and even had a dinner invitation before being stuck for 5 hours on an LA freeway in rush hour traffic on my way home.

14. I always hope to do great things in this life and be some amazing career woman, but I fear I don't have the strengths and capabilities to do so.

15. I want to be a mom and a wife. Preferably not in that order.

16. I could easily become a hermit, but not in a good way, and it wouldn't be pretty.

17. I am an emotional person and I HATE this trait.

18. I love food. Comfort, gourmet, fried, low-calorie and otherwise. I love it all. I love to cook it, I love to eat it, I love to talk about it.

19. Melissa calls me her own personal "Ahwatukee On-Star". I love the 'tuke. I will most likely move back some day.

20. I am prone to anxiety & depression. I admittedly think sometimes that I am OK not on meds, but the world is a better place when I am.

21. I've been "in love" once, but my heart has been broken several times.

22. I love my friends as though they're my family and I'm not sure where I'd be without them. I also think said friends are some of the most talented, funny, and dynamic people I know. If there's one thing I've mastered in this life, it's how to surround myself with amazingly talented people, each in their own right. I know that some of said friends don't always understand why I care so much about them, but I hope that they understand their value & importance as individuals and how they've helped me on my journey.

23. I'm an only child but my Mom is the oldest of 8, so there was never an absence of family when I was growing up.

24. I miss my Dad every day. As I get older I realize that I'm not really sure how he would fit into my life as an adult, but I wish him well and hope the best for him.

25. My Grandpa is my hero, but my Mom is one of the most amazing women I've ever met. We've had our differences and we still have our moments, but I certainly wouldn't be half the person I am without being shaped with her direction. For that, I owe her my life. I hope to keep the disappointments to a minimum.

Is the word HERO cliche?

2009-02-01T00:26:00.000-08:00

Because my Grandpa was mine. I miss him more than I ever thought possible. He passed away on New Year's Eve as peacefully as it could have happened. We had the Rosary and Funeral Mass a couple of weeks ago and his interment was on Friday. I suppose the finality of it all really started to hit me. I spoke at the Rosary, and although some of my family members have requested a copy of what I wrote and read, I haven't been able to type it up until today. There was something about what I wrote that is so very personal and close to my heart that I didn't want anyone else to read it... then I thought, "how stupid am I? I read it to at least a hundred people." So in hopes of helping to honor my Grandfather with a tribute of sorts, I'm posting what I read here. I knew nothing about grief until the past couple of weeks, and grieve I must do - but I also must heal. So please know that these words encompass only a portion of how lucky I feel to have known my Grandpa and how honored I feel to be part of his bloodline. I apologize if it's long - I'm not sure how else to post it.

Grandpa Bob…

He was and will always be my favorite Grandpa. He may have had somewhat of an advantage because he was my ONLY Grandpa, but nonetheless, he was still my favorite. I have been blessed to have many wonderful memories of my Grandpa.

Spending time with my grandparents was always one of my favorite things to do. When I was young, I loved visiting their house because it was always filled with family. There was always such a warm and safe feeling there. I loved spending the night. When my cousins were there too, we’d sleep in the room next to theirs (and usually stay up late watching movies…) – but when it was just me, they’d let me sleep on the floor next to their bed. I’m sure that wasn’t Grandpa’s favorite idea, but he always kissed grandma good night and said, “Good night Honey, I love you” and I would respond in my own young, smart aleck way, “Love you TOO, Grandpa!” And he’d say, “Oh yeah, you too.”

When I was in college, I’d often come into town and stop at their house first. (1. To check what was in the fridge & pantry – I had to see what I was missing while I was away. And 2. To make sure I helped Grandpa win a hand of solitaire – because I know how much he LOVED help!) I’d sit at the kitchen table, they’d ask me questions about college…I’d eat. And then, without fail, Grandpa would ask me… “You goin to church up there? Do you go to all of your classes? You & Robert stayin out of trouble?” Then, just as I’d be leaving, he’d throw in, “you got a boyfriend?” In fact, I know that right know, he’s up there thinking, “well? Do ya?” No Gramps, I don’t – but I assure you, you’ll be the first to know.

That’s the thing about Grandpa. He wanted us all to be happy. He wanted each of us to feel loved. Especially Grandma… He was an amazing example of what a husband should be. I told him once that he makes it hard for a girl to date because we have such a great example of what a man should be as a husband, father, grandfather, friend, and all around MAN. It’s a lot to live up to.

There are many things in this life that remind us of Grandpa: bowls of cereal (man ate a LOT of cereal!), glass jars of Planters Peanuts, cashews, hankies, decks of cards, Manhattans, ‘icky tea’ (because he hated it SO much), glasses of water – NO ICE, napkins strewn about with stir spoons and empty packets of equal on them, episodes of MASH, JAG, Walker Texas Ranger, Matlock, Murder She Wrote, or any show on TV Land at an absurdly loud volume and his ability to be sleeping through the show but the minute you change the channel, he’d wake up and say, “hey! I was watching that!” Cubbies games, Dbacks games, Suns games, Cardinals games, St. Patrick’s day – the list goes on.

I’ve learned a lot over the years from my Grandpa – how to drive (my Dad passed this responsibility to him after I bottomed out his Blazer in the school parking lot and got the tires stuck between two parking blocks the day he took Megan & I out for a lesson.. Woops.), how to be strong, how to love unconditionally, how to love romantically, how to forgive, how to listen, how to be patient, and most important – he taught me to look out for boys that were uptown shopping for downtown merchandise. And I’m embarrassed to admit that it took me several years to figure out he wasn’t referring to Uptown Plaza and the Arizona Center…

He also taught me that it’s ok to be sad for awhile. One Sunday afternoon a few years ago when my Grandma first became very sick and was in Freedom Plaza, I had taken my Grandpa to see her. It was a particularly difficult day. She was very upset, agitated, and didn’t remember either of our names. She recognized our faces but didn’t really want to visit. So Grandpa declared that it was time to go and we rode home in silence. We got back to the house, he went to his chair and picked up a book while I made dinner. As we sat down to eat dinner that night, he was fixing up his coffee just the way he likes and suddenly stopped. I looked over at him, saw his face, and a tear rolled down his cheek. That was the first and only time I saw my Grandpa cry. I asked if he was ok and he responded, “I just miss her.”

Later on, I picked up the little book he had been reading and found this poem. I don’t know that this is what he was reading that day, but I know that he lived by this poem – long before it was ever written. He wasn’t perfect, but he sure tried hard.

The poem is called “Each Day” by Max Lucado:

It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE…
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I CHOOSE JOY…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical, the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I CHOOSE PEACE…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I CHOOSE PATIENCE…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I CHOOSE KINDNESS…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I CHOOSE GOODNESS…
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.
I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse.
I choose goodness.
I CHOOSE FAITFULNESS…
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.
I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL…
I am a spiritual being.
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will lay my head on my pillow and rest.

So Grandpa, if you see a tear roll down my cheek, it’s because… I just miss you.

The Long Awaited Day

2008-11-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

This week marked a monumental moment in American history. Emotions have run high for everyone. I have never seen any election create more passion in people than this one. No matter which side you stood on last week, I hope that we will all stand together from this day forward.

I, for one, feel as though I have waited for this day for my entire life and I have never been prouder to be an American.

There's so much to say about it, but no words as eloquent as this:

"Americans sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of individuals or just a collection of red states or blue states. We are, and always will be, the UNITED States of America.

The true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals; democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope! That's the true genius of America. That America can change." - Barack Obama, 11/4/08

P.S. Does anyone have any interest in knowing that I live a mile away from where John McCain made his concession speech? Part of me wondered if living less than a mile from his Phoenix residence would boost the value of my condo if he became President. Yeah, I know... that was wishful thinking...on a MULTITUDE of levels.

My Favorite Zip Code

2008-09-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

...is BACK!!!!! That's right, folks. I've waited 8 years to be able to say it, and the time has come! 90210 is back on the airwaves! (How do I know it's been 8 years, you ask? Oh, that would be because the night of the BH 90210 season finale fell on my 18th birthday, and incidentally, my last day of high school... Most kids would go out with their friends and party, right? Not me! All I wanted was 2 hours of peace so I could watch David & Donna's wedding, and then another hour or two to mourn the end of my all-time favorite show and wish that one day, it would come back to life.) I couldn't be happier. I am the ULTIMATE 90210 geek. I could totally smack down the competition in a 90210 trivia game. In fact, I think all through college it was like an on-going "thing" among my friends Missy, Mikey and myself to compete for who knows the show best. I guarantee that each of us has seen every episode at least a half a dozen times. Perhaps this isn't something to brag about, but I'm proud of this geeky obsession. I loved every PART of this show. Jennie Garth is my idol.

I'm happy to report that I watched the new series premiere this week and L-O-V-E-D it! However, I realize that age must really be settling in, because I found myself more curious about the adult story line than the kids. Whatever, I'm just glad that I have OTH and 90210 to help me escape from my own reality for an hour each week. There's something comforting about knowing that I can get lost in these shows each week. Geez, how pathetic am I?

I Heart Pilates

2008-08-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

One of the more embarrassing (and terribly blonde) moments of my life occurred one evening a few years ago while leading a class of teenagers that were preparing to be confirmed at Church. It was Easter season, and that night's particular lesson happened to involve The Passion. Picture: a room full of forty 16-18 year olds in a dimly lit room, intently listening to me reading the passion accounts from The Bible. I get to a line that mentions Pontius Pilate - a name I'm familiar with, in fact, one that I say on a daily basis in prayer. (Especially since I went to Catholic school for several years of my life...) I read aloud, "Pontius pih-lot-ee, pih-LOT-ee, pih-lot-EE." I knew in my head the first time I said it that it didn't sound right, so I said it again, thinking that if I emphasized a different syllable, it would be right. Wrong. So I said it a third time. Still wrong. Never did it occur to me that I was saying the wrong word COMPLETELY. Before I even realized what I had done, laughter broke out in this silent room, breaking the somewhat somber mood of the lesson. I had just made a total you-know-what of myself in front of the world's most judgemental age group. How EMBARRASSING! As red as I turned that night, it gave me a new nickname and all of my friends a good laugh for years to come. I still laugh at the thought of that moment, and am still called Pilates from time to time.

At that point in time, Windsor Pilates had just made a big boom onto the infomercial circuit. I'm fairly certain it must have been my subconscious coming through to tell me that I had been watching FAR too much television. A couple of years later (and about 2 years ago now) I was watching TV early on a Saturday morning and I had succomb to the genius marketing technique. I was SOLD on this exercise program and in just two weeks and $29.99 later, I was the proud new owner of the Windsor Pilates DVD set and a FREE Windsor Pilates Circle with a Circle workout DVD! I got that DVD in the mail and I started doing it - wow, gave me more of a workout than I ever thought possible! And would you know? I actually had more energy and strength! If only I had the will power to continue doing it. It's easy when there's no real accountability factor to let it go by the wayside. But I knew I liked it and I knew it worked. People started to see results. I started to FEEL results.

That's why when I finally got to the point again with my body where I knew I HAD to do something, I decided to start pilates classes. A couple of the girls at work take them and it's five minutes from our office. That makes it pretty convenient to go after work. Well I'm about 6 classes deep and I am completely HOOKED! It's slightly different from the mat pilates that I was doing at home, because we use machines, combined with some mat work, ball work, and Patti also throws in the circle from time to time! (Patti is also known as Patti Pilates in the circles I run in - oh, did I mention she is married to one of our underwriters and also happens to be Carlie & Josh's next door neighbor? Small World.) I love every minute of it! I never want the classes to end. It has given me more energy, strength, and most of all - has had a bigger impact on my emotional well-being than I EVER thought possible. Oh, and, I just have to say - I lost SEVEN pounds last week! I am so excited by how I feel that it has helped me make better food choices, and... drumroll please... inspired me to quit drinking soda! This is huge for me.

I do hope that the excitement continues and that I continue to reap the benefits from doing this. IT AIN'T CHEAP so I'm certainly having to make some adjustments and sacrifices - but the way I see it, it's keeping me out of trouble and it's really transforming my life. The attitude adjustment alone makes it all worthwile.

When I started telling people about it and what we do in class, I realized that it's hard to envision what you do when you are in a Pilates class unless you've actually seen it before, and I thought, "must search YouTube." Here's a video I found that shows a lot of what I get to do. I have no affilation whatsoever with the studio in this video, nor have I ever been there. Enjoy!

A Fistful of Misguided Anger

2008-07-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

Straight up... I have been angry at EVERYTHING for the past 48 hours and I DON'T KNOW WHY!!! It's killin' me, because I realize that my current state of anger makes absolutely no sense. The events (if you can call them that) that set me off are quite minuscule in nature and should warrant nothing more than an exasperated sigh. But the past few days, I have flipped the bitch switch into high gear. I apologize to anyone whom I have come in contact with and promise to make a concerted effort to gain composure and control.

Big Scare

2008-07-17T20:41:00.001-07:00

ACCIDENT VIDEO

Please note the Honda Civic. This is the vehicle of one of my oldest friends, Megan (Melissa) - we grew up together. Our moms are best friends and we used to live around the corner from eachother. Firefighters used the jaws of life to extricate her from the vehicle. She passed out a couple of times because of the trauma that her body went through, but her vitals remained steady, and she came out with just a bunch of broken bones. She is in another surgery as I type. I found out about the accident yesterday afternoon and couldn't watch the video. I started watching a different clip from another news site without sound, and without realizing yet what I was watching, I saw her being rolled away on a stretcher by the paramedics and I had to stop watching. She was in pretty bad shape. My mom talked to her today and I will go to the hospital tomorrow, but she seems to be in good spirits.

After graduating with her Master's in social work, yesterday she was on her way to her first day at her new job. Her "dream job". My wish is that she heals quickly to start her dream job soon because an excellent social worker she'll be. She's had her ups & downs in life, but she has a heart of gold and is one of the most generous people I know. We have a lot of memories together... here's to many more.

The Home Stretch

2008-06-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a scathing blog that vented about everything wrong with the world today. It was so bad that I had all kinds of warnings to preface the blog. "If you will judge me for bitching - STOP HERE!" I had to vent. Writing that blog was a therapeutic necessity. What happened to that blog, you ask? Well, I actually wrote it in Microsoft Word rather than straight into the blog, and would you know? I pressed the big X in the upper right hand corner, and without thinking, said NO to saving it. $^%(&$^!!!!!!!! I suppose it's best that way. Here's a brief synopsis, in case you are still curious: Men are idiots, women are bitches and everyone I seem to come in contact with has the mental capacity of a toddler. I can have a better conversation with my 2 and a 1/2 year old nephew than most folks. So played out, right? Right. Thank goodness for small miracles and brainless deletions.

Although my stance on these issues remain somewhat static, I have a slightly lighter felling about everything. I feel as though I'm finally on the home stretch and ready to be done with the negative "phase" of this year. It's a terrible feeling to be so negative. I'm over it.

My motor is being delivered tomorrow and Ryan will replace the old with the new - YAY - and I might ACTUALLY get to drive my own vehicle again before August!! *FINGERS CROSSED*

Last week my friend Cynthia left for Europe and I couldn't be more excited for her! She asked me when she first had the idea if I thought she was crazy and I told her - HECK NO! If I could swing it, I totally would! Here's some pics from our bon voyage celebration: The first is of me & Cyn and the second is me, Jordan and Cynthia. I love these girls so much!!

One last thought for the evening: I hate when people lie to you and think you don't know that they are lying - and the worst part is when it's over something trivial. I'M SO OVER IT!!

I HATE EARNHARDT MAZDA

2008-06-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

I don't want to get into the nitty gritty details right now, because I've had enough of the details the past couple of days, and I need a break. However, I will tell you that this has been one of the MOST ANNOYING weeks of my life. I have no vehicle - it's currently in limbo in the parking lot at Earnhardt Mazda in Chandler. More on that later. I am VERY lucky to have such a generous boss that is lending me the company van until my car gets fixed. For this, I don't know how I could ever express my gratitude. So for the time being, I'm driving a sweet 15-passenger van wrapped in graphics. I can't fend the boys off fast enough.

I'm currently reading You're So Money by Farnoosh Torabi. Lovin' it. Wish I started reading it like five years ago.

I have been sick to my stomach for a week now. NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!! I can prove it!

I'm too exhausted for anything else at the moment. I apologize for the excessive lack of blogenergy lately.

Happy Birthday to ME!

2008-05-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

The big birthday weekend came and went, and all in all I had a nice weekend. Dinner & a movie Friday night with Heather - SO fun, minus the obnoxious teeny bopper crowd... Saturday I woke up early for a conference call, then went and did super girlie things with myself like go get my eybrows waxed and tinted, get a pedicure and get my nails done, go shopping - those sorts of things... It was great! My Uncle Dan and I share a birthday and it was his 50th, so I went to their house to begin my celebrations. Later on I headed down to Tempe to this cute new little place called La Bocca Pizzeria & Wine Bar where I met all of my friends for a birthday celebration of my own! Josh's birthday was on Thursday, so we decided to have a joint party. Delicious food & wine... Loved it. AND they gave both Josh & I a birthday tiramisu!! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVE tiramisu!

Yesterday Paige brought me breakfast from our fave spot - La Grande Orange - of which I ate only half of due to the state of hangover that I was in, and took me back to my car. My mom threw me a little birthday BBQ at her place. I got to swim with the kiddos (Jonathan & Anika) and we ate tons of food and had a blast. That was also a joint bday - Jonathan's dad's bday is today!

All in all, I had a great, fun weekend! Thanks to all who shared it with me!

Do I still have a blog??

2008-05-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I see that this URL still exists, but have I lost all my readers? Sorry folks. I have been on blog hiatus for a) lack of energy and b) lack of time. Mostly lack of energy though - and when I say lack of energy, I may as well tell it like it really is - sheer laziness. When I HAVE sat down to write a blog in the past month, my brain has been pure mush and I felt like all I would do is write something dumb, so I just didn't write anything at all. I promise to get better.

UPDATES:

1. New job - it rocks. I'm loving it. I love the challenge of learning new things and i love even more that no day is the same. I've learned SO much. Each day I'm exhausted at the end of the day - but in the best possible way. And can i just tell you how much the past month has FLOWN by? SO crazy. Plus, I work with some of my best friends - how bad can that be?

2. New 2nd job - I'm selling jewelry. I let people talk me into doing it because they say I'd be good at it...I never thought I'd ever do something like this, but part of me is kind of excited. I've already gotten a whole wardrobe full of jewelery (that I EARNED!) and it's kind of changed my life. I don't walk out of the house without it now - SO weird. Besides that, it's also a new income opportunity. My first jewelry party is on Tuesday night. Check back. http://www.liasophia.com/katieburau

3. New Realization - I'm totally NOT 21 anymore. I went out a couple of weeks ago with my friend Jordan and we played bar golf...it's this little bar-hopping game where you have a score card with you at all times, and much like golf, at each hole - or bar - you have to give yourself a score. Next to each bar is the name of a drink. If you drink the drink listed, then you are PAR for the course. If you have an ADDITIONAL drink, then you get a -1. If you choose to NOT take a drink at that bar, then you have to add +1. The person with the lowest score wins. I think I at least tied with the lowest score. What did I win? A RIDE HOME & A MASSIVE HANGOVER. Truthfully, it was a night full of tons of fun, and I really should have been doing a lot of puking, but I did not. I woke up the next morning at 7am, fully clothed, lying sideways on my bed, with my keys in one hand and my cell phone (open, no less) in my other hand. Then as I was starting to "come to" and figure out what was going on, I also realized that there was a bag of Jack in the Box next to me and a full drink sitting on the counter that I hadn't even touched. I had come home and LITERALLY passed out. While getting ready for the company picnic, on the hottest day of the year so far, I repeated the mantra over and over in my head - I am NOT 21 anymore. I am NOT 21 anymore. I am NOT 21 anymore. What was I thinking?!

4. New Hair Color - not sure that I necessarily "love" it, but I needed a change and I didn't want to cut it. Unfortunately I decided to save money and rather than go to just go to Carissa and have her do my color, I decided to attempt it on my own. HOLY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. 3 boxes of hair color, more money than I had set out to spend, and some tears later - my hair is now dark brown. Yep.

Well that's the low-down on the life of me for now. Check back soon, I promise to be better.

Hooray for Change!

2008-04-06T15:09:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow's the big day! I finally start the new job. I couldn't be more excited! Last week was quite the roller coaster of emotions. I've been excited to get to the new job but I was also more sad that I had anticipated to leave my old job. There were more layoffs the day before my last day and one of the people that was laid off was a very good friend of mine. So needless to say, Thursday and Friday were a rough couple of days. They are over now, though!

Onward and upward.

So umm...

2008-04-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

I don't really know quite how to tell you guys this, but as they say, a picture's worth a thousand words:

O-M-GEEEEEEEE

2008-03-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

I know this blog should technically contain an update on what has been going on in my life, but that's all going to have to wait. Sorry, people. There is important business to discuss. THE HILLS IS BACK! If you have not watched the episode yet, stop reading this blog immediately and go to mtv.com to watch and then come back and read the rest.

Thoughts & Observations in the form of bullet points:

- ShePratt's back and boy is she a WITCH! To her own BROTHER, no less!!
- Holy Plastic Heidi. WOW. I can't even look at her without trying to figure out all of the things that she did. Nose job, boob job, now COLLAGEN INJECTIONS?? What the hell is next? Calf implants?!
- How jealous am I that, not only are Whitney and Lauren in Paris, but Lauren's got the skills to just whip in a stitch in an expensive ball gown to make it into a cocktail dress??
- Did anyone else get the impression that those band members were lookin fairly chesterish?
- I can't WAIT for Stephen to come back! I've been wondering why they don't talk. Could it have been that Hayden was a wee bit threatened?? Hmm??

It's really quite sick how much pleasure I get from watching this show.

HAPPY EASTER!

2008-03-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

Steve uploaded this video of Anika dying Easter eggs on YouTube, so I have to post it. My favorite is the twinkling of the stars :)

It's 3:45am..

2008-03-19T03:42:00.000-07:00

...and I can't sleep. But finally I can't sleep out of excitement, rather than pure anxiety. So I decided to blog for a minute before trying to take a "nap" again before my alarm goes off. For those of you that haven't spoken to me in the past couple of days - I made a big decision yesterday! I'm leaving my current position to take a position at iMortgage. Risky move? The more I think about it and talk to people, the more I think it's not as big of a risk as I initially thought. The economy blows right now, and in turn the mortgage business isn't doing so hot. HOWEVER, I think that getting into the business at the right company and for the right people, this could be an amazing time to enter. I will be going to work for Carlie's dad, Bill. When I talked to Bill on Monday, he mentioned something that I find very true. I'm entering the industry at a time where I will have a chance to learn all of the ins and outs of the business. This is an advantage because I will have the opportunity to become really great at anything that I do there, because I would know the whole business, rather than just parts. And as Bill said, at this point, there would be nowhere to go but up.

So now that I've made my final decision, I'm totally pumped. In a few hours I will give my notice at my current position. I'll let you know how that goes.

OH! And P.S.! I'm also super excited because one of my daily duties will be to update Bill's blog. :) I will post a link when it becomes available - stay tuned.

I Love SNL

2008-03-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

This made me just about pee my pants. This is hilarious regardless of your political views. Check it!

Updates Through Pictures

2008-03-11T15:29:00.001-07:00

With all that has been going on, I haven't had much time to blog. But I did want you to know that I have not neglected the ole blogaroo. So I thought I'd add a little slideshow to give you a glimpse into what I've been up to until I can delve into writing an actual full blown blog.

Included are pictures pre-Foo Fighters show, lots of Reagan from the day we went to Gabe's soccer game - he was Player of the Game (woot, woot!) Go Bub! A couple from the beautiful sights at the Scottsdale Arts Festival and a few of Jonathan. Hope you enjoy!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Things I'm looking forward to: The grand opening of our new store being OVER, another 2 year old Sunday Funday, a much needed haircut, and my next honey latte from Starbucks.

A Plethora of Thoughts

2008-02-24T18:58:00.000-08:00

For such a blogaholic, I've really slacked this week! And I was on such a roll... disappointing. But for all you blog readers, know that I've been saying, "oh I need to blog about this!" all week. So this particular blog will be a hodgepodge of different thoughts I've had this week.

First I'd like to note how awesome it is to live in Arizona this week. I've discovered an entirely new appreciation for the city I live in. The weather has been fabulous. It gets cloudy and rainy for a day, then the next is crisp, clear, warm and picture perfect. I have found myself driving along and looking around at the scenery, as though it's my first time to notice things. For example... did you know that there is a certain spot on the 202 (at about 52nd Street) where you can clearly see Papago Peak, Camelback Mountain, and Squaw Peak all in a row and clearly recognize the distinctions between all of them? There have been a couple of moments this week where I would have like to have been able to take a picture of that, although I don't think the camera could capture the same mystique that I felt from the view I had. There was also a moment driving home on one of the rainy days last week that I encountered the largest rainbow I've ever seen. Again, I wished that I could have captured that moment on film, but it will forever be engrained in my brain. I did, however, pull out the camera for a couple other moments. I realize that taking pictures while driving is not the safest thing in the world, but be assured that I was either completely stopped or there were no other vehicles around.

The first picture is of the Simpsons cloud sky. Now that I'm looking at this picture, I'm noticing that it didn't quite translate (see that's why I didn't take a pic of the rainbow..) but overwhelmingly while I was stuck in traffic one afternoon, I kept thinking, "WOW, this is SO weird! I feel like I'm ACTUALLY in the opening of the Simpsons!"

Unfortunately, these pictures don't really do justice either, but as I was driving to and from my mom's today, I was noticing how very GREEN everything is. This is AZ people, so don't expect a freakin forest, but normally, these are all BROWN. No color whatsoever. Just the color of ugly rock and dirt. But today was different. There is green and yellow EVERYWHERE. Wildflowers abound! It was awesome. My mom lives in the foothills of South Mountain, appropriately named, the Ahwatukee Foothills. This rain has really done some awesome things! I was noticing when I drove past Club West (the golf course) that the winter rye is just LOVING the rain. I didn't take a pic of that because they only overseeded the actual fairways and greens - usually as a money saver and water conservation effort - so it looks fairly silly right now because the fairways are all super deep green, and the surrounding areas are a lovely shade of yellow-brown.

Yesterday I did my usual Saturday morning powerwalk, but I decided to take a slightly different route this time. While I was walking down 22nd St, I realized that I was looking at the building that John McCain lives in. Being the freak that I am, later in the day, I jumped in my car and clocked the distance between his condo and mine. Can you believe that I live exactly .6 miles away from a presidential candidate?? I have always known that, but it didn't dawn on me until yesterday. How many people can say they live less than a mile away from a presidential candidate? Not that many. This doesn't make me want to vote for him, but I thought it was kinda cool, nonetheless :) On a similar note, I also live within a mile from Amare Stoudemire. My 'hoods filled with ballers and that's just how I roll.

I know there are a bunch other things that I'm forgetting about right now, so hopefully I will remember and post in the next couple of days. But I will leave you with one last picture, just cuz it's freakin cute as can be. We went to the Matsuri festival downtown today. The food was awesome and the entertainment was great! Jonathan & Anika especially enjoyed the Taiko drums and were dancin to the beat. Okay, so maybe not to the beat, as they dance to beat of their OWN drummers, but they were hoppin around like it was their job and loved every minute of it! Check out Anika lookin precious in her kimono :)

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Stretching My Limits

2008-02-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing I've learned by starting this blog, it's how much I truly love to write. I have always enjoyed writing but generally had a difficult time with creative writing, and for some reason discounted any desire to do any professional writing because of it. An unnecessary personal boundary that I set for myself, I suppose. I do, however, get excited to express my feelings, emotions, and experiences regarding personal victories and things I love. You've probably found some common themes among my posts already - kids, food, kids, and food. Those are the things I love most :) Someday I think I would like to write a book having to do with child development, social interaction and parental / childcare provider roles dealing with both. With consideration of the fact that I have no kids of my own, I do realize that might seem like a strange goal - and really, I use the term "goal" loosely - however, I think that I may be able to provide insight that would be helpful to first-time parents. My main challenge being: how do I get my audience to trust what I say? How do I create a rapport with perfect strangers?

I also enjoy cooking, but more importantly, I love eating, and I LOVE eating out! I am always looking for new places to go, new things to try, new experiences to excite the senses. (Lately, with more budget constraint... but I've enjoyed the challenge!) All of this being said, I was perusing Craig's List tonight and found an opportunity that I could NOT pass up. I have begun the process and am going to submit an assignment to be considered as a published review on local restaurant review site. The idea of having this opportunity conjures up feelings of both excitement and panic!

Who knows what this may lead to... it could be merely a hobby of mine... or maybe more!

I will keep you posted about my progress, and you'll certainly know if I get published!

A Beautiful Sunday

2008-02-17T19:37:00.000-08:00

After a somewhat gloomy and cold Saturday, today couldn't have been more beautiful if I had special ordered it. This morning I did some power-walking and stopped at Einstein's for an order of lox & bagel, and then back home. I walked a total of three miles today! I decided this morning that although I am actually power-walking, I really wish that I was a runner. Unfortunately my knees don't share the same ambition. I just wish I could get that runner's high. Oh well.

This afternoon we took Jonathan & Anika for their first official theater experience and their first play. Childsplay is currently doing a production of Goodnight Moon. I know what you're thinking - if you know this book, you know it takes 30 seconds flat to read, because I'm not even sure that there are even 30 words in the entire book. However, this was an awesome production and I give it a five sippy cup rating. The set is colorful and creative and there are only 4 actors. I think what impressed me most about the experience though was the theater itself. The Tempe Center for the Arts is a brand new building. It's located right next to Tempe Town Lake and I believe this sidewalk pictured serves as a path all the way to the Tempe Beach Park. The kiddos thoroughly enjoyed the view of the "waterfalls." The architecture was incredible on the outside, and there are cool little details and features - including a negative edge pool set right outside of the lobby of the building, looking like it pours straight into the lake. The inside of the theater is even more incredible. Unfortunately they don't allow you to take pictures in the theater but if you get the chance to go, you MUST!

The little ones were enthralled with the performance and the surroundings. They were both having "Triple T" days (Terrible Two Tantrums) but we seemed to go in and come out unscathed. We ventured over to Mill Ave for where PF Chang's tried to put all of us (4 adults, 2 small children) at a small square table, clearly intended to be for only FOUR people. After mini-meltdowns in the middle of the restaurant, we quickly regrouped and decided to take the kids elsewhere before we ALL officially lost our minds.

We ended up making our way over to Z Teja's - another daring place to take small children, but we ended up with the best seat in the house - a large round booth in the corner! The food was fantastic, the company was delightful - ok, well, minus the 2-year olds staking their claim on their stuff. Everything is "MINE" and "NOOO" these days. You can see that I've captured their smiles while I could :)

Tomorrow is President's Day and I sure wish I had a 3-day weekend. Such is life. Tomorrow is supposed to get to 75 degrees. Perfect weather to play! It's a shame I'll be holed up in an office with no windows all day! To all who have tomorrow off - Enjoy it!

P.S. I looked at yesterday's blog and realized that I really need to give myself some lessons on formatting the ole blogaroo. I just published this one and checked out also, and I just don't get it! This formatting nonsense is going to make me mental! If anyone has any tips, feel free to share.

The Saturday Morning Lazys

2008-02-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

After a long work week, and finally a complete recovery from the cold I had and the flu I battled on Sunday/Monday, it felt good to crawl into bed last night and not have to worry about setting my alarm or think about pressing things that needed to get done the next day. I slept better than I have slept in at least a month and I slept until 8 o'clock!! It was amazing. For the first time in months I woke up refreshed and stress-free! So for the past two hours I've been enjoying the laziness of the overcast, chilly morning by lounging in my pj's and enjoying my coffee and some sweet Saturday morning TV. Currently, an episode of Saved by the Bell is on in the background - the only thing better would be a 90210 marathon! As I sit and enjoy the thought of not having any commitments, obligations, or pressing errands to run until I go hang with Jonathan this evening, I figured I'd post some pics from dinner at the McMinn's!

I love how Taylor cracks up and gets so excited at just about anything! Even me! Lauren was takin a late nap when I arrived but she woke up smiley and ready to take pictures! I got a kick out of the grapefruits from the mystery tree at the elder McMinn home - they were as big as Laurens head!

We had a delicious dinner from Wayne & Heather's fave Mexican joint down the road, and had a great time! (Thanks for letting me crash your Valentine's dinner, guys!)

It was definitely entertaining, watching the babies play, then after dinner having a lesson about oragami vs. kama sutra - there is a difference, as Wayne learned - probably one of the top 10 funniest moments ever.

Lauren got a head start on practicing to be on a future edition of "America's Next Top Model" by finding my heels and walking around in them. She may even walk in them better than I do, and they are 87 sizes too big for her... and on the wrong feet. But it was an awesome photo-op, nonetheless.

Last night I went to Beni's after work and got to see her new car! A hybrid Toyota Prius - super cute and tiny, yet surprisingly spacious, and completly space-age! She only got it because in AZ there's a special license plate that you can get to drive in the HOV lane, and it's one of just a few cars that you have to have to get the plate. Literally, that's the only reason she got it. She's used to driving a tank (Nissan Armada) so I told her although it will be an adjustment to be on the ground, she's gonna totally love the savings in gas!

We rode in the new car to meet up with the Dieters and we had another Benihana dinner to celebrate Steve's birthday. He's 39 as of yesterday and said he was depressed because he spent the day interviewing 18 year olds. But it couldn't have been TOO bad because last week he had a 3-day company picnic in DISNEYLAND and yesterday because it was Friday, they brought in Mexcian Food and Margarita Machines for Happy Hour.

He was even telling us that the "Google Doctor" - yeah, they even have a doctor ONSITE with FREE medical care - had to give him clearance to return to work yesterday because his pink eye was no longer contagious. His was the second confirmed case in the office, so they had a cleaning crew come sanitize the entire office. Including taking all of the covers of the blueberry beanbag chairs. That's right, you heard me. Why don't they do that in schools?? I was discussing how totally addicted to all things Google (Google Reader, Google Analytics, iGoogle, Gmail, THIS BLOG) last night, when I realized, I'm even more in awe of hearing what it's like to WORK there! If you ever get the chance, DO IT! You won't regret it. That's the impression I get, anyway...

And now back to my chill Saturday... :)

Valentine Madness, A Fab Quesadilla, Sarcasm and More

2008-02-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

This post is filled with lots of randomness that made up a wacky Wednesday, so stick with me:

Topic #1: I was driving home from work when I noticed stands with people selling Valentine items on EVERY street corner. I kid you not, people - every single street corner. It seems as though they all have the exact same ginormous white teddy bears with huge "gift sets", lots of balloons, and other valentiney trinkets. My thought was, "Where does all of this stuff COME from?? How do they know where to buy it? And what on earth do they all do with it if it does not sell??" So I'm really hoping that tomorrow I receive one of the mylar balloons that reads, "Te Amo."

Topic #2: I checked my mail when I got home and in addition to receiving valentine cards from both my mom and Paige (both of which totally made me misty), I also received - not one, but TWO coupons for free meals from a place called Zoe's Kitchen, which I thoroughly enjoy and often eat there for lunch or dinner, as there are locations near both my home and office. The funny thing is that both of these coupons are addressed to "Sandra Burau" WHO? Exactly.

Topic #3: I decided to actually USE one of my coupons tonight, because, well I'm feeling super lazy and didn't want to cook! Plus, I'm single, and I CAN. :) I decided to order something different tonight, just to mix it up, and I ordered the Chicken Quesadilla. But this is no ordinary quesadilla - no... This quesadilla is filled with grilled chicken, spinach, scallions & feta and it is FAB-U-LOUS. It's not as ooey gooey cheesy as a normal quesadilla, but it is a wonderfully tasty and healthy alternative for those of us who are trying to cut the calories. I kinda wanna give whoever invented this little creation a big fat kiss on the mouth. Also - if you are to ever visit Zoe's Kitchen and are NOT neccessarily watching your calories - they have AMAZING texas sheet cake. Totally "O" worthy.

Topic #4: Ok so this one is super random. When I got back in the car to bring my dinner home and eat, Alice Cooper's radio show was just beginning. The promo that runs when they start his show says, "Here he is, the guy who puts the 'casm' in 'sarcasm', Alice Cooper" WHA...??? I was still in the parking lot, thank goodness, because I totally hit the brakes, looked at the tuner, and said to the radio announcer (as if he was listening to me), "WTF?!" Hey, if Alice puts the 'casm' in sarcasm, then it's safe to say that I put the 'der' in 'wonderful'. Yeah, that's right.

Topic #5: Big Brother. Another ridiculous reality show that has been on forever and there's something damn alluring about it. It's sort of Real World meets Survivor. There's a new twist this year. I missed the premiere, but I watched tonight's episode. It's called "Big Brother: 'Til Death Do Us Part". Everyone is coupled up with a "soulmate" which is there partner for the rest time in the house, and they get evicted as a couple. The twist is that there is a REAL couple in the house - tonight each of the couple's soulmates found out. Should be riveting. I know what you people are thinking - it's a good thing I don't have cable!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day - aka - Singles Awareness Day, or SAD. I'm not gonna be sad, because the McMinn's invited me over for dinner, so I think I'll venture out to Western New Mexico to hang with Heather, Wayne, and the girls tomorrow night!

KooKooRoo & Another GP Too

2008-02-12T20:49:00.001-08:00

So I have this other guilty pleasure... well, it's more of a secret guilty pleasure... and I hesitate to call it a guilty pleasure, as that may provoke the wrong emotions. Especially given my current state of distress, I enjoy escaping my own realities by indulging in others'. Seems easier that way, right? That's where my love for reality TV comes in. The Hills, anyone? A few months ago I came across The Ross Blog - it's a combo video/written blog by Ross Matthews aka Ross The Intern from The Tonight Show. Ok, so before you fill your heads with all sorts of judgements regarding my sanity - hear me out. Putting aside his often-obnoxious squeals, and his always-flaming personality, I get a total kick out of this guy. He's HONEST. What more could you ask for? He has a couple of posts regarding the restaurant KooKooRoo that absolutely cracked me up and made me laugh out loud. Here's the thing... he says the things that we are all THINKING. If you get a chance, and have some patience and possibly the ability to filter the high pitched notes out of his voice, I highly recommend that you check it out.

I would like to note... KooKooRoo is a fast food restaurant in LA. They pride themselves on being healthy - which it totally is. It's the ultimate post-gym meal, for sure. It's totally LA. I had the pleasure of dining at their Beverly Hills location on Beverly Drive in November on my 24 hour passport adventure. Which, incidently, didn't even get a Mexican stamp to show for the work I went through for the damn thing! Lame. Anyway - I had the chicken ceasar from KooKooRoo and it freakin rocked my world. I have been craving that salad every day since.

It should also be stated that KooKooRoo is where the superbuff personal trainer gave me his card and told me I was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen... which I'm still convinced was his line for, "I'm a personal trainer and you look like you could use one. Give me a call and if you shell out thousands of dollars, I MIGHT be able to whip you into shape." In his defense, he DID ask me if I wanted to go to dinner and suggested if I'm ever in LA again that I should look him up. If YOU are ever in LA, check out KooKooRoo - and maybe I'll get you in touch with Jeff the trainer ;)

My Newest Guilty Pleasure

2008-02-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

So for Christmas, Rosemary gave me a little gift set from Bath & Body Works that contained a mini bottle of shower gel, a mini bottle of body spray, and this lip gloss. It's called Cinnamint Mentha Lip Shine. Here's an exact quote from the tube, "Our Cinnamon and Mint-infused lip balm provides a glossy high shine with a refreshing cooling sensation. Lips stay moist and protected while Cinnamon and Peppermint oil give long lasting freshness." I couldn't have said it better myself. Me? A girlie girl? Notsomuch. I'm always forgetting to do things that most girls live to do like - lotion regularly, put jewelry on, and even put lip gloss on. This lip balm has completely reformed me...when it comes to lip gloss, anyway. I totally dig it. I have used it every day since I got it. It even replaces the need for breath mints or gum. It gives you the right pick-me-up right before a meeting at work, or out on the town. It's my newest guilty pleasure - right up there with reality TV :)

For the Record...

2008-02-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

I communicated with Mike yesterday via text. It went a little something like this.... Me: "do you want your painting back?" Mike: "no you can keep it" Me: "thanks." Mike: "youre welcome"

Holy Hell this blows. But I think he caught my drift.

So everybody knows - I won't be posting EVERY moment like this, but I was feeling like I had done something wrong because I talked to him after I said I would never talk to him again. I think the briefness and the uncharacteristically basic nature of our texts prove that the point has been made and taken.

A couple other random thoughts - a) Heather, you're turning me into a blogamaniac. Seriously. and Two) I never knew that anyone other than Heather actually read my blog until this week.

Thirsty Thursday...or Not.

2008-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and it feels like it should be Saturday. I could totally use a drink - or three - today. But alas, I shall be the responsible Auntie and pick up Jonathan from school and take him home, feed him, bathe him, and put him to bed. Okay, so maybe it's the responsible side of me, or perhaps it's the fact that if I don't, I know his mother would decapitate me. I hear he has tumbling this afternoon, which means he will be extra tired and foul. Luckily, I love him to death and even though I'd like a glass of wine, I'd rather spend time with him when he's cranky than most anything else.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and like millions of other Catholics (most of whom go 3 times a year - Christmas, Ash Wednesday, and Easter Sunday - a concept I have never understood because it's not like those are the only days that "count"), I went to Mass last night to get my ashes. This is the first time I've participated in a few years as I strayed for a bit. It was kind of nice. People have asked what I'm giving up for Lent - I don't really do the whole giving up thing - I usually do things to better myself. But then last night while listening to the homily, the Catholic guilt set in. If I'm not willing to make a personal sacrifice for the duration of Lent, then how deep could my faith possibly be? I don't really buy into the whole "I give up ice cream for Lent" or that sort of thing. I guess I just haven't found anything that would be meaningful enough to even consider. Carlie said I should give up something crazy. I don't think I'll publish what I blurted out in response - but let's just say, it was not an appropriate thing for a single Catholic girl to be saying. And to that I say - Whatever.

That's it for now - off to the 'tuke to pick up the boy from school.

Super Two-fer Tuesday

2008-02-05T15:13:00.001-08:00

Today's blog is a 2-in-1 deal. BONUS! :) Also, I voted today. Did you?

Heartache

You may or may not already know that this weekend was - by far - one of the hardest of my life. I wasn't sure if I should blog about this or not, but when I opened my planner this morning and read the quote-of-the-day, I knew I had to. "Never, 'for the sake of peace and quiet,' deny your own experience and convictions." I will try to keep it to a minimum, as I know this sort of thing gets old really fast. And for those of you who already know - bear with me.

Saturday morning Mike and I were making plans to get together and I asked if he wanted to do something after the Super Bowl - figuring that, being the big football fan that he is, he would be watching the game. He then tells me that he is going snowboarding and conveys his excitement about it. My reaction was, naturally, "wow! On Super Bowl Sunday? Well, that should be fun." All the while, the thought in the back of my mind is how odd it is that he is going snowboarding on SUPER BOWL SUNDAY - one of the biggest days in the lives of sports fans in America. After asking about when he would be back he tells me that he's actually taken Monday off and will not return until Monday night. "Oh wow, that WILL be fun then! Who are you going with?" And with little hesitation he replies, "Yeah I'm super stoked. Do you really want to know? *1 second pause* With my ex." Enter fist into my gut. Thoughts start racing through my head, many involving numerous explicitives. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

After picking my jaw up off the floor, remembering to breathe again, and virtually throwing up all over myself, I respond by telling him exactly how I feel. For those of you who don't know, Mike & I were not in a committed relationship. He could never commit to me. He & I were awesome friends though. We had a blast together every time we hung out, whether it was hanging out at home and cooking dinner, going out to a bar for drinks or going to an art festival - it was ALWAYS a blast. We also talked to eachother more frequently than I do any of my other friends. He was one of my best friends.

So after telling him what I thought about exactly what it is he's doing to me - and I didn't hold back like I normally would - I had to tell him that this was it. I would never talk to him again. Those were the hardest things I have ever had to say to someone. I stalled by filling in with other things, including, "I cared about you and loved you and you made me happy" in hopes that he would try to fight me over this. But he didn't. He let me go. He was so okay with it. SO okay with it. I wanted to be right in front of him grab him, shake him and scream, "Do you even KNOW what you are doing right now??!" But I wasn't in front of him, and I couldn't do that, and he didn't react. So that was it. I just lost one of my best friends - and the love of my life. Just like that. It seemed so... drastic. I knew it's what had to happen, otherwise this would be a continuous cycle of negative emotion and lead to an unhealthy relationship.

So, naturally, Saturday was filled with sobs - Sunday some tears - and Monday some mists. Today has been significantly better. However, my heart hurts. It genuinely aches. It hits me more at the moments when I would normally pick up the phone and text or call him for those, "guess what just happened" moments. I reached for the phone instinctively yesterday and thought, "Shit, I can't do that. Damnit." I'm sure I'll have those moments for a long time. I wish I could hate him, because it would make things so much easier. But the truth is, he IS a good guy, I love him very much, he was a great friend, and my life has been a happier place because of him. I will always be thankful for the time I was able to spend with him and I will miss him very much. We'll leave it at that for now.

Thank God for Baby Love

So this weekend was the first of what may be many 2024 PREunions... aka 2-year old Sunday Fun Day in the Park. Yeah, I'm super cheesy like that - get off me. You would think I have kids of my own with the amount pics I have of the wee ones, but I don't. I'm just an auntie, a cousin, and a crazy friend who loves the tot population. I have never needed that unconditional baby love more than Sunday, so the timing was perfect. I was a total wreck, but they didn't care. Trevor didn't make it because he has a cold, but the others all came out and played there little hearts out. The weather was unseasonably cold for Arizona and slightly misty out - so we all look like we're on the East Coast. But all in all, it was a success and I think we're gonna make it a regular event.

Pictured on the left are Lauren & Reagan. They are two days apart and became fast friends. It was super cute. Lauren's got a big "cheese" going!

Anika has the red hat on and, incidently - she screams every time she sees me! That can't be a good sign...

Also pictured are Jen, Jonathan, Anika, and Rosemary having some snacks.

Reagan is the queen of the sneaky looks - and dirty looks too! I think she gets those from her Daddy....

I have to say one thing before ending this blog... I have the best friends in the whole world. Everyone has been so incredibly understanding and supportive of me. This has been by far one of the hardest things I have ever gone through - and I've been through a lot. I was nervous at first to tell anyone because a) I feel like a fool and b) I thought people would think I was crazy because Mike and I weren't even in a committed relationship. But nobody has questioned that - and they have not questioned my love for him, nor have they discounted the respect that I have for him for telling me. As I told him, it certainly doesn't make it right and I DO wish that he said something sooner - and well, not tried to plan something with ME when he was going snowboarding with HER, but I certainly can't fault him for telling me the truth.

If I've learned one thing in the past week, it's that life is what you make it. My heart was shattered into a thousand pieces on Saturday. I could have let it ruin me. But I'm not. And I won't. I will miss him and I will always have a place in my heart for him - but I will not be bitter and I WILL move on... I don't know when, but I will.

A little too...Larry?

2008-02-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

I looked at my blog last week and I thought, "how Larry King Live of me." So I need some feedback. Is my blog, oh I don't know, a little too...Larry?

I am just using the template and maybe once I get the laptop with the WIFI, I will get more adventurous and put some creativity into the ole blogaroo - but until then... I guess this will do.

I have much to blog about, but not much time at the moment. It was an eventful weekend, and unfortunately, not entirely positive - or so my heart tells me right now. Check back tomorrow for some updates and a few thoughts and reflections. (I will try to include some pictures too!)

Tomorrow's Super Tuesday, people - get out and vote if you are able and haven't already. I think this 2008 election will be one of the most important elections of all time, given the state of our government and our economy. I don't even care who you vote for at this point, just do it.

OI-SHEE!

2008-01-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

Another weekend passed... lots of food, friends & fun!

Friday night, Jen (aka Beni), Jonathan, Rosemary, Anika and I had a traditional sukiyaki dinner at Rosemary's house. Basically, Sukiyaki is a Japanese family-style dinner that is cooked at the table - Similar to teppanyaki, but without the show. It consists of tons of fresh veggies and thinly sliced beef. It's all cooked in the same skillet with some water, little bit of oil, and soy sauce and you eat straight from the pan. It's one of the prettiest meals you could eat, considering the presentation style. To top it off, it was Oi-Shee!! (Delicious)

Anika likes sukiyaki so much that she was literally shoveling the food into her mouth. Well, Rosemary didn't notice how long the noodles were, and Anika wasn't chewing. Needless to say, she started to gag on the noodle, and without skipping a beat, everything that she had previously eaten, ended up in her lap. She didn't even get upset. Rosemary pulled her high chair away from the table to clean her up and Anika was so apathetic to the fact that she just regurgitated her dinner, and was so into eating it, that she kept eating more. It was AWESOME. If any other people were there, they may not have found it so funny, but the way she just acted like nothing ever happened - had all three of us rolling on the floor.

The Dieters (Rosemary, Steve & Anika) have four - count them - FOUR cats. Now, if you know anything about me, you probably know that I've always been quite the ailurophobe. Rosemary did NOT and STILL does NOT know that I am an ailurophobe or that I might be slightly allergic to cats. I have been doing better though. I've really been working on it - especially since Mike got Fozzie - the cat that I - yes, ME - named... Well, Jonathan has not been around cats very much. The kid had NO FEAR. As the pictures prove, I'm pretty sure I can predict a cat sometime in his future... The picture above is Jonathan snuggling with Tiger on the couch and in the picture on the right, he is giving Machan a kiss.

Saturday brought me to the Leary's house where Reagan greeted me with a great big hug, smile and screaming "KEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" at the top of her lungs. :) What more could I ask for?? Josh cooked up some Swedish meatballs... Britt, Ryan & Gabe came over and we all had a nice dinner together and then Gabe went to a sleepover, Reagan went to bed, and we had adult time by the fire pit. All in all, it was a great time. Brittney also brought be some interesting news which I can't explain at this time, but it may mean change is on the horizon for me. We'll have to see how the next few weeks play out. As you can imagine, change - even for the better - creates a fair amount of anxiety in me. Possibly the culprit of this cold that I'm fighting off.... (I'm determined NOT to get sick!)

This weekend also brought my first official Yoga experience. Paige is beginning her Yoga teacher training and I told her I would only participate in her classes if she first gave me "private" lessons. I have to say... I have done pilates for a year and a half now at home to the Windsor Pilates DVD, and I do enjoy it. However, I never realized how completely INTENSE yoga really is when you are doing it correctly! Pilates is intense in it's own right, but yoga was a totally different ball game. I quite enjoyed it, though, I must admit. I like the whole meditation/relaxation aspect of it also. I'm hoping it will improve my inner chakra... and perhaps a couple of other things in the process ;)

Here's to an anxiety-free week. HA!

OH! and P.S. They played my most favorite song at church this weekend. I was CONVINCED that was a sign that this week is going to be great :) Hope I'm right!

TGIF

2008-01-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Oh how happy I am that it's Friday! It hasn't been a particularly bad or annoying week - it has just been busy, and well, there was a full moon and that always seems to add length and intensity to any week! All week I have been meaning to do a post, and I'm just now getting around to it. I hope that this weekend is as fun as last weekend ended up being - completely unexpectedly, I might add! Come last Friday, I was thinking I was going to have a boring, mopey weekend, because frankly, that's how I was feeling myself! But Friday afternoon as I was leaving the parking lot at work, Rosemary called and asked if I would meet them at the parking lot of Benihana, rather than their house so that Steve could spend more time with Anika before they go out since he had been on a business trip all week. I agreed, then realized that she wasn't asking me to pick Anika up from the parking lot, she was inviting me to have dinner with them! That was kind of a nice invitation, although I started feeling as though I should probably call her and ask if she wanted me to just come later so they could have family time when Jen calls me and says that she and Jonathan would be joining us also! How fun! Wait... not just one, but TWO 2-year olds at Benihana?? I thought, 'oh this should be interesting... I know how Jonathan is at dinner time - ESPECIALLY when his mom is around!' And would you know? The kids totally behaved and we had a blast. After dinner I went back to Steve & Rosemary's and they went out and I put Anika to bed.

Saturday morning I decided that I would take advantage of the AM Cinema @ AMC - only $5, people! I went and saw the movie 27 Dresses. Heather's review was completely accurate - totally predictable, but cute nonetheless. When I got out of the theater, I checked my messages and there was one from Mike inviting me out to San Felipe's for his birthday. I made a phone call to Paige for emergency wingman services and she willingly agreed to help me out. So I hung out with Jonathan in the evening and endured a TTT (terrible two tantrum) and made my way to Felipe's when Jen got home.

I felt like I was going to throw up all day - gotta love the nerves - but everything worked out splendidly and we all had a blast! We ran into people we knew and it ended up being a really great night... despite my friend Kassidy stealing my cab at the end of the night!

All in all, the weekend was a success...

Mom celebrated her birthday on Wednesday and Heather's birthday is this weekend! (Happy Birthday, Heather!) Phew - January is a busy birthday month in my calendar!

Tonight we're having a sukiyaki dinner at Rosemary's which I'm pretty psyched about! Other than that, should be a pretty chill weekend...

Eat, Pray, Love

2008-01-17T15:26:00.001-08:00

Here's the thing. I was at Target a few nights ago picking up a few household neccessities. That's right - I had officially waited too long to replenish my paper products and was resorting to using napkins for everything - and I mean EVERYTHING. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And frankly, I kept forgetting to put Kleenex and toilet paper on my shopping lists. SO not the point. Anyway... I am always lured into the book section of Target. I'm not sure why, because it's not like they carry a vast array of items to choose from, nor is it different from week to week. Nonetheless, I find myself drawn in everytime I enter the store. Part of me gets excited by the ginormous selection of Rachael Ray books - I think they have them all - and everytime I think, "wow, not even B&N has this wonderful a selection of RR." I have all but two of them, if you were wondering. I'm missing Just In Time, which is her latest, and one of the original ones that has escaped me at the moment. The other part of me gets excited by the pretty brightly colored books - marketing genius! Like I say - I'm lured in EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I've been seeing a particular book all over the end caps in every Target location that I've been to recently. (I like to visit Targets all over the Valley because if I don't, I feel I might be missing out I guess.) The book Eat, Pray, Love has caught my eye several times, and I think I picked it up and read the passage on the back at least three times and thought "I should not spend money on a book right now, I should go to the library" and put it back on the shelf. But for some reason this book screams my name each time. So Monday night, I decided that it must be some sort of sign. Not realizing how this book would scruitinize my time, I picked it up off the shelf, took it to the register and bought it. I got home, put away the paper products in their respective homes, took out my contacts, changed into my jammies, sat in my easy chair, and began reading my new book. Before I knew it, it was 11:30, I was holding my eyelids up because I didn't want to put my book down. Low and behold I convinced myself that I would NOT get up in the morning if I did not put that book down immediately - and even then, it's a crapshoot with me! (SO not a morning person...except on the weekends, when I inevitably wake up at 6am bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Pisses me RIGHT off... Murphy's Law, I suppose?)

I have become engrossed with this book, and will be done by the end of weekend, no doubt. First of all - don't let the title intimidate you. Yes, I believe in God, but you don't have to be spiritual to appreciate what this author has gone through. After falling completely in love with this book, I have found that Oprah's Book Club apparantly shares in my fondness. Check out the site. There is even a section that allows you to read the first few pages. That's all I ask.

More to come... I'm off to my chair to indulge in some quality EPL time!

Mission Statement

2008-01-14T10:58:00.000-08:00

Well... After a week filled with lots of thoughts about where I am, where I want to be, and the general cycle of life all around me I have vowed to myself that I will really start LIVING each day. For several months now, I've just kind of been "getting by." I think in large part, the reasoning for that is because I became paralyzed with fear. No, I'm not a scaredy cat - but sometimes the "what if's" in life out do the living part. I tend to let that happen during certain times in my life. In the past week, I have made a lot of committments (to myself AND to others) to better my life. I really need to hold myself accountable... something that I excel at in the business world with my day-to-day job, but something I'm not so great at in my personal life.

Commitment #1: I have made a pact with my "Crazy Sister" - her term - to communicate in SOME form when I am having a 'day'. She agreed to do the same. Meaning is two-fold... a) we are letting someone else know that we are having a difficult time and b) we are acknowledging with ourselves the way we are feeling.

Commitment #2: Do my laundry regularly - from start to finish. If you know me, you know I hate hate HATE laundry. I don't know why, but I always have.

Commitment #3: Revisit my mission statment that I wrote last year in my 7 Habits class and think of tangible ways to live my mission and recognize areas of my life that I am not living it.

Along with commitment #3, and a little bit of commitment #1, I also feel that it's only fair that I share my personal mission statement, since I'm on this whole accoutability kick. So - here it is:

I am committed to living and loving authentically.
I intend to pursue continual personal growth to foster a better understanding of myself and the world around me.
I will enthusiastically serve my family and friends, enlisting love, compassion and understanding as my guides.
I will always nurture my relationship with, and continue to increase my knowledge of God on intellectual, emotional and spiritual levels.
I will practice forgiveness of others and of myself so that I may live without regret.
I will continue to be inspired by others in hopes that one day I might inspire.

Here's to a new week!

A New Year, A New Me

2008-01-07T16:30:00.000-08:00

Ok so maybe not really a NEW me, but perhaps a slightly revised version of Me. I never understood the lure of the newfangled, seemingly "technologically advanced", ridiculously millennial concept of the BLOG... But I have to say... after spending Saturday with my good friend Heather - who, incidentally, started HER first blog last week - and questioning every little detail about it, I got hooked on the idea. Uh oh. Am I going to be spending hours on end blogging?? I am pretty sure I always poked fun at those who blogged, and also thought, "what's the point? I'm certainly not going to post my feelings just so anyone on the web can read them! That's insane!" Well... insanity... here I come, or, rather - AM...

I live alone and much of my time is spent talking to myself, so why not spew a few of the thoughts that run through my head on any given day in a structured setting for people to read? Perhaps this new hobby might even prove to be therapeutic. Who knows!

I think 2008 is going to be an exciting year. I don't know why other than - I can just feel it.